Woke up at 3:30 am. Drove 2 hours directly into a storm. Ran my first Marathon in 3 years... The Marathon Dilemma: Pick Your Poison. A unique world of discomfort exists between Mile 21 and the finish when the heart is fully invested in seeing how fast the body go. It is odd how “10 miles to go” can somehow feel more manageable than “5 miles to go”. Marathons are like that. They challenge reality. This is why I love them. Running marathons reminds me that I am more capable than I realize. It has been years since I have experienced "Mile 21+." This is where I find myself in a battle between two equally awful options: (1) The Physical Distress of a potential medical crisis that is completely avoidable if I just slow down. As the miles accumulate, each seems longer than the one before. The distress mounts while relief is just a matter of me deciding to back off the gas. (2) The Psychological Distress of a self-disappointment that will manifest promptly the next morning. I will feel awful for choosing to back down when so close to the finish (forgetting all about the physical distress). This emotional disappointment wont likely get erased until the next time I find myself at 21+ of a goal race and have the same decision to make. The question is only how bad do I want it. And sometimes the answer is "Not this bad"... and something the answer is "More than this race could ever hurt me". And both answers can be the correct answer. The hinge for me is understanding my WHY. I have missed feeling like myself for years now. My "WHY" is really powerful right now. I think about things when racing about performance, nutrition, sports psychology. I share with these thoughts with those I coach. I want to add those thoughts here, too. Realistic Goal Setting. One peak performance mindset technique I use to try to optimize my performance if possible is Realistic Goal Setting. If I set myself up to fail then I wont have the chance to make any decisions at M21+. Running myself into the ground before I get to the hard part doesn't do anything for me. So regardless of what I wish I could run, or what I have done in the past. I goal set using current information about what I have done lately not hopes and dreams of what the best outcome might look like. This is harder than it sounds. The Ego is loud and unwise sometimes. Based upon my recent training and recent half marathon times, I felt I had a realistic chance to BQ with a 5 minute buffer. I need a 3:50 to qualify for Boston. It became important to me to chase the BQ at my first marathon after years of not racing them. But it was more important for me to execute the race in a controlled way. I wasn't interested in a crash and burn. I didn't want to walk. I didn't want to create unnecessary suffering for myself by going out over my head and then feeling shocked when I started to drown. I wanted to work hard but also smart. Tiered Goals. Another Peak Performance Technique I try to use when I am racing for a goal is Tiered Goals. But I do it differently than most people I know. Rather than identifying an A, B, and C goal with A being the hardest goal, B being the achievable goal, and C the easily achievable, I only set two goals: The "A" Goal. This is my target for the race and something that should be achievable while still a significant accomplishment. This is the purpose of the work. The "Reach": I leave open the option to chase a Reach Goal in the second half of the race. A lot of people call this their A Goal but I don't. I want to set my pace plan up so that I can achieve my "A Goal" from the start. I don't chase my Reach goal from the start. The Reach Goal will happen with a negative split if everything is going well. The Reach Goal will not happen for me if I chase it from the gun. I know this. The A Goal usually get lost that way as well. By setting myself up to achieve the A Goal, I often end up achieving more Reaches than I thought possible. When I go home, I get to feel proud of my work whether I hit my A Goal or my Reach. I want more chances to celebrate - not less. It feels awful for me to think of accomplishing something amazing (the A Goal) but feeling like crap because it wasn't as amazing as I wished it could have been. I think it is important to mention that not all my races are Goal Races. I race a lot. Often those races are for growth and development. I practice skills. I test fuel. I check in on pacing. I dial in race day routines. I challenge myself to achieve smaller goals within the race. Sometimes it is just be social. Not every race has to be about goal acquisition for me. But this marathon was a Goal Race. My 'A Goal" was to BQ on my first race back. My "Reach Goal" was to break 3:40. The Pace Plan: 8:45 pace through 14M then negative split to 3:45 (8:35 pace) or faster. Jim Thorpe has an unusual rolling start but it makes sense. The trail is narrow and the first 2 mile section is an out-and-back. To spread people out the start time was not fixed since the race was chipped time. If you wanted to run with a pace group you would start at 8:00 am but the first runners could start as early as 7:15 am. This made the race feel like a long training run. I appreciated that. Dave and I started just ahead of the 4:00 pace group with a plan to chase down the 3:45 group by the end if possible. If we did that we could come in under 3:45. We hit our goal pace through the first 14 (8:45 average) but it was little sloppy. I needed to stop at the port-o-potty at mile 2 because I drank a lot on the very hot train ride to the start. Dave had to stop to get a rock out of his shoe around mile 5 or so and once more to use the bathroom. Trying to average 8:45 pace by M14 was more work than it needed to be with all the short stops for self-care issues. At Mile 14, with 12 to go we dropped the pace and it felt like it was going to be an amazing day! We were easily running low 8:00s but my gut told me it was too soon for that speed. I reigned myself back in to 8:20s.. At my 16, I still felt strong and fluid. 10 to go really didn't feel outrageous. Sub-3:45 was within reach. But it was still early. Then the rain and wind picked up as we approached 20M (as if the last 10k of a marathon isn’t already hard enough). My wheels started to fall off. The puddles were shin deep. My clothes were soaked. My feet were numb. My hands were numb. I was cold and wet and using a lot more energy to regulate my body temperature than I had to spare. I definitely felt the WALL. I had consumed all my Gu by Mile 21. I really wish I had one more. Rookie Mistake! I am out of practice and brought enough fuel to run a low 3 hours (like I used to) without thinking about how I long would be out there. For 3:45, I would need one more Gu to keep me feeling peppy. If there was Gatorade on the course I would have been fine with calories, but they had UCAN and I don't drink that. Sometimes 100 calories can make a HUGE difference and today was one of those days. As my body and mind struggles to hold on, having someone at my side literally working through the weather with me who really wanted to see me accomplish this goal for me as much as I did made was a nice. I tethered my energy to his as he was just a few strides in front of me and I just let running happen. HIs presence helped me hold on when it got hard. I am grateful. It ain’t over 'til it’s over. The amount of happiness I feel when a race is over is almost always directly related to how well I navigated through the struggle. The struggle will never feel wonderful in the moment.. Sure, there is "good pain" which for me only happens when the reward and the suffering are happening at the same time (like in the last few miles of a race when I know I am "doing it" and I will achieve my goal if I can just hold on...). But more often there are moments in the middle of race or at 21+M to go when it is just hard and there is growing doubt. This is when that unwise voice that acts like it can predict the future but knows nothing at all starts whispering "you can't do this..." Silencing that voice is a skill that needs to be practiced. This is the same unwise voice that at the start of a race whispers "Go out REALLY hard...you got this! You will be fine!" when really there is no reason to go out really hard. The opportunity to practice enduring in the face of adversity and to practice silencing that voice is what makes racing special to me. This is a transferrable skill to other areas of life. Some Mindset Techniques I use to silence that inner unwise voice is to (1) keep my Mind + Body in the same place at the same time (do not think about future parts of the race) and (2) Stick to the plan I made before I was actually in the event (That plan was based on what I did lately to identify a realistic A Goal and Reach Goal). Then I try my best to stay the course and not let unwise "whispers" distract me. When my pace slowed it was just a part of the narrative that was being created. This moment is not my forever. Sure It felt awful at the time to fade, but I needed to not let my need to regroup effect my ability focus on what I was doing well. I take pride in understanding peak performance strategies. But let's be real, knowing mindset techniques and being able to apply them in the moment when we need them most are two different things. I know the only way to get good at Mindset Skills is to put myself in challenging situation so I can practice them over and over. This is why I race a lot when I can. Mile 24 aid station. I wanted so badly for that table to have gels on them. Just the taste of sugar would have given me such a mental boost. As I passed the table there were none. I don't know why I didn't grab a cup of UCAN drink. I just have this sense that I would hate it. I had a really bad experience with HEED in the past that made me feel like I would puke once I drank it. A little packet of sugar seemed like all I needed. But there were none. I didn't dwell on this disappointment. I moved on to what I could control and what was working for me. I took a moment to regroup physically and mentally. I gathered my energy. There wasn't much more to go. I channeled what I could into finishing strong. We picked up the pace. And by the time we reached the finish line, we managed to do exactly what we set out to do! A Goal accomplished. Everyone should be so lucky to have a friend who cares as much as about your goals and dreams as you do. A friend who is ready, willing, and able to get in the trenches with you and do the work along side you. A friend who understands the physical and mental skills it takes to unlock full potential. When it comes to marathon training, Dave is that friend for me.
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Shannon McGinn, JD, MS, MA, EDS, NBC-HWC, ATR-BC, LPAT.
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